Today started out well, I got up at a decent time...well not at me control that is because one of the kids friends rang to the door bell which woke me up.. But after that I sat down and tried to wake up a bit and took my meds.
I'm at least good about doing that. I take my meds like I'm supposed to although it can get to be a daunting and pain in the butt.
I was doing great until the husband woke up and I was talking about the fact that we should start a bakery, basically a cake place. He got rather mean about it when I said that we live in such a small town that it would actually make some money but he totally shot down the idea. I did what was best and I left the room cause I was getting angry. I know what I gotta do with my trigerrs even if he continues the arguement. Although I really felt like continuing the fight cause I thought that it was and is a good idea. But I went and laid down for a bit and actually kinda fell asleep.
What I hate more then anything is the fact that my spouse is my trigger at this point. I even got him a book to read to help him realized how the whole mental illness of bipolar works and how that the choice of words or statements don't help me but in fact make things worse. This week we have a therapy appt together in which she is going to help him understand what it is that I deal with especially the emotions. I'm already emotional and being bipolar just makes it worse.
But I believe that I'm working on it and trying to handle things better.....but I also gotta admit it really just drains everything right out of me and I get so tired of dealing with this dang disease. I have at least learned that it's a disease.
I hope that by putting all this out not only does it help me then it might help others out.
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